Is An Ungodly Soul Tie Keeping You Stuck?

“Soul-ties are not just formed with people we have had sexual relations with. They can also be between parents, siblings, friends, and leaders.”~ Joanna Beck

I recently had an experience that confirmed for me the impact that an ungodly soul tie can have. It was with a young woman that I mentor. She had been struggling with letting go of her ex boyfriend. He had broken up with her years ago, and broken her heart. She really loved him and had completely opened her heart (soul?) to him, believing they had a future together. Although she is a strong woman of God, lives a joyful, enriched life, she had not been able to stop thinking of this young man.

I found it odd that it had been such a long time and she was still not over him. I shared my concern with my dear friend Julie, and she said to me, “maybe she needs to break an ungodly soul tie with him?” My immediate response was “Oh no, they’ve never had sex.” Julie informed me that ungodly soul ties can be made without sexual connection between two people. I never knew this! I had been taught that unholy soul ties were always through a sexual bond. I’ve learned a lot about soul ties since my conversation with Julie. One enlightenment for me is that ungodly soul ties can be created within any relationship.

Ungodly soul ties give the enemy a foothold in our lives, and if not broken, can be extremely damaging.

They become a stronghold in an individual’s life, causing one to feel oppressed.

Ungodly soul ties can keep someone trapped in ways they aren’t even consciously aware of. They can also prevent someone from moving into their destiny. Demons like spirits of heaviness, shame or rejection harass an individual due to an ungodly soul tie that has a grip on them. An unholy soul tie can cause one to feel down, depressed and/or oppressed. Because we don’t think about soul ties, most of us are unaware of the effect they have on us.

Before I share the rest of the story with my mentee, I’d like to explain what a soul tie is, and how does one know if they have formed an ungodly one with someone?

A soul tie is when two souls are tied together in the spiritual realm.

For example when a man and woman become husband and wife, the Bible tells us they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This is a godly soul tie. Soul ties can be made between any close relationship (friends, siblings, parents, boyfriend/girlfriend, and/or leaders). In 1 Samuel 18:1 we read about the soul tie between King David and Jonathan, “When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own life.” These are god-honoring relationships and hence have godly soul ties.

When a bond between two people is unhealthy, it becomes an ungodly soul tie.

This can happen when we idolize someone, loving them above the Lord. Anytime there is a strong emotional attachment, obsession, and/or inability to stop thinking about someone, it’s most likely because of an ungodly soul tie.

Soul ties open the door to the demonic by linking your soul to another person in a way that does not honor God. When we value anything more than we value God, we have made that “thing” our god. This is idolatry and God tells us to “flee from idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14).

When there has been a sexual connection with someone (outside of marriage), one will have a more powerful ungodly soul tie with that individual. This soul tie goes to a deeper level because of the sexual act that binds two people. 1 Corinthians 6:16 tells us, “And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” People who have had many past sexual relationships will find it very difficult to ‘bond’ or be joined to anybody, because their soul is still connected to previous relationships. It’s as if their soul is fragmented.

Any idolatrous relationships forms an ungodly soul ties.

Now, to finish sharing my experience with the young woman I mentioned above. . .I began to pray for wisdom from the Lord on how to approach her on this subject. I wanted God to speak to her about needing to have a prayer of deliverance from this unhealthy attachment she had with this young man. She needed to break off an ungodly soul tie she had unknowingly made with him.

One day she texted me that she felt “stuck” with wanting to get over him, but not knowing how. I knew this was my confirmation from the Lord. God never wants us to feel stuck or trapped. The enemy wants to trap us because he comes to steal, kill and destroy.

God never wants us feeling stuck. He sent Jesus to set us free.

I asked my young sister in faith if she would be willing to pray to sever ungodly soul ties she had unknowingly made with this young man. I was so grateful when she said she knew it needed to be done. She was ready to be freed up from the attachment she had in the spiritual realm with her former boyfriend. We set up a time to pray together. She was anxious, but eager at the same time.

Here’s the steps I took to break off the ungodly soul tie in this young woman’s life. May they be a guide for you as well.

1. Figure out entry points for the demonic

Ungodly soul ties are demonic. Recognizing which demons have been allowed access to the individual is helpful. Writing out every event that opened entry points for the demonic will help in the time of deliverance prayer. There can be demons of rejection, shame, unworthiness, etc.

Write out a list of every painful memory you have with that person, as well as specific happy memories that may feel hard for you to “get over” as well. I walked this young girl through identifying what specific lies were associated to those memories for her. We discussed each area of woundedness she could identify within that relationship, and then we invited the power of God to come in and heal that exact area in her life. There is something powerful that happens when we get into the nitty, gritty specifics of our woundedness. It’s one thing to admit that a guy broke your heart and you need healing. It’s a whole other thing to step into every painful memory with a trusted person, and breathe life and light back into that area of pain.

We can’t heal what we don’t bring into the light.

It’s also important to repent of any sins committed through the relationship. For example, if there was a sexual relationship, or idolatry, unforgiveness, etc. Invite the Holy Spirit to lead you in pinpointing entry points where the evil one was allowed access to the person being prayed over.

2. Bind and loose

In Matthew 18:18 we are taught that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. For example in my prayer time with this young lady, I commanded evil spirits of rejection, shame and feeling unloved, to be forbidden to attach onto this woman’s heart, thoughts and mind. And then I loosed, or permitted, the oil of joy and the garment of praise over her (Isaiah 61:3).

I also had her read Proverbs 31:25-31 out loud and personalize it. She was weeping as she realized that she had allowed a man to define her worth and her beauty. She’s not alone, is she? So many of us look to man for approval, when what matters is what God thinks of us. We prayed off a man pleasing spirit off of her as well.

Call out every demon by name and command it to leave in the name of Jesus.

3. Break of the ungodly soul tie

After you’ve recognized and renounced every evil spirit that latched on to the individual, it’s time to have the person pray and sever all ungodly soul ties. Here is a simple prayer you can pray to break off an ungodly soul tie:

“In Jesus’ name, I renounce any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and ______ as a result of _______________ (fornication, etc.).” I break and sever all ungodly soul ties with ______ (all names) that I may have had an idolatrous relationship with. I apply the blood of Jesus to those souls ties and I cut them.  Lord Jesus, I ask that You heal me in all the areas that the enemy tried to steal from me.  Gather up and bind all the broken places, all the pain, the hurts, wounds, regrets, and vulnerabilities. Jesus, bind up and heal my broken heart and return any parts that were ever given away, Lord. 

Lord, heal me to full restoration in all areas: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, psychological, and relational – heal me wholly and completely. Restore my memory and cognitive processes.  Lord, close off and destroy doorways, portholes, access points that have been created in my life. Father God, I ask that you grow me in my faith and in my trust in You. Thank you Lord. Thank you for my freedom and healing. I pray all this in Jesus mighty name, amen.”

Once the soul ties have been severed, pray a prayer of cleansing and washing over the individual. Reclaim all woundedness onto the cross and pray for a refreshing of the soul; wholeness, healing, redemption, restoration and revival of the individual’s soul.

Speak to the “Valley of Weeping” from Psalm 84:6, and pray that all wounded areas would be filled with blessings from the Lord.

4. Rid of any gifts, or memories

Now that there has been deliverance from the grip of ungodly soul ties, it’s time to rejoice. However, there’s one more critical step. You must get rid of any gifts, items of clothing, text messages, pictures, cards, or anything that may remind you of the person you just broke a soul tie with. These symbolize the ungodly relationship and may hold the soul tie in place. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you. Do not let monetary value talk you into keeping the item.

In the case of my precious friend, she ended up giving away four trashbags of items to a charity. She went through her closet and got rid of any item of clothing that was associated with a certain memory with her former boyfriend, such as a first date or other romantic memory. Afterward, she told me that it literally felt like her body, mind and home had gone through a spiritual detox. She felt free to truly live again, without memories of the past (even subconsciously) holding her back.

There is no price tag for your spiritual freedom.

The young lady I am talking about has found freedom through breaking off the ungodly soul tie she had with her ex-boyfriend. As soon as we were done praying, she was literally glowing, and her laughter was full of authentic joy. She has been delivered, set free, from a weight that she wasn’t even aware she was carrying. An oppression that was straight from the pit of hell had been lifted.

This is what ungodly soul ties can do to an individual. They cause a paralysis of the heart, preventing someone from fully receiving all the goodness that the Lord has for them.

Jesus’s words said in John 10:10 are so powerful: “A thief has only one thing in mind—he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect—life in its fullness until you overflow!” However, we always have to do our part, and God does His. May you take a step towards your healing today and decide to break off all ungodly soul ties you may have unknowingly formed. Jesus wants you to have a rich and satisfying life, a life lived in wholeness. Break off the grip of any ungodly soul ties and live in freedom.

If you don’t know how to pray through this yourself, I encourage you to reach out to your church and see if there is a pastor or spiritual care director at your church who could help lead you through this kind of time of prayer and deliverance.

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:23

Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu and Ante Gudelj on Unsplash