Motherhood…Words of Wisdom From A Brand New Mother

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” ~CS Lewis

Motherhood is a calling, a privilege and an honor. For a brand new mother, however, this can be a time filled with excitement, as well as a time of anxiety. Either way, motherhood is a gift from the Lord and I love that we have a day, Mother’s Day, to celebrate mothers.

This year, Mother’s Day in our family is full of extra joy. As we welcomed our beautiful Emersyn into our family, I became a grandmother and our daughter in law became a mother. Praise the Lord!

This post is an interview with my daughter in law, Abby, who shares words of wisdom on entering into motherhood. My hope is that Abby’s words will encourage all those that are planning on having a child, are pregnant and/or are brand new mothers.

I asked Abby the questions below. You can hear her responses in detail in the video recordings below. I have also written some of them out.

1. Have you always wanted to be a mother? Why or why not?
2. As you and Roman began to plan to become parents what emotions/thoughts/conversations did you go through? (fear?excitement?)
3. Your firstborn, Emersyn, was born in June 2023, and I know you had a difficult labor. You were a trooper and persevered. Can you describe what it was like (emotionally) going through labor to bring Emersyn into this world safely? What did you do to persevere?
4. Describe those first moments when you first laid eyes on your baby
5. What were the first few days/weeks/months like? Emotionally, physically?
6. Has having a baby affected your marriage? How?
7. What is life like for you as a mother now that Emersyn is almost 1 year old
8. Do you mind sharing your dreams/prayers/hopes and desires for your baby girl? Is there a special Bible verse you carry in your heart for her?
9. What advice would you like to give to a young man pregnant about to enter motherhood? Anything you wish you could go back and do different?
   

I’m thankful to my daughter in law for her authenticity and vulnerability. There are many golden nuggets to be found in the wisdom she shares. I specifically loved how she answered my first question on if she had always wanted to be a mother. Her response is important for all Christians. She says, “I have a lot of different passions, and I’ve always seen being a mother as a piece of my life, my future and my family. One of the primary reasons I was driven to become a mom is because it’s the Kingdom. It’s what we are called to do as Christians-to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28) and to raise up shining lamps for this generation (Psalm 145).“

“It comes back to Jesus being my first priority. It’s fun to be a mom, but this is the primary reason Roman and I chose to start a family. This is a way to honor the Lord, and to touch this generation through discipling children in our home.“

Abby had a long laborious (41 hours that ended in a C-section) labor, and when I asked her how did she persevere, she shared that a desire of her heart was to be aware of the presence of God throughout her labor and that no matter how hard labor is, it’s still sacred. She added that she kept thinking about the scripture that says “And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:1-2). This opened her heart to push through as she told herself she was going to endure through it.

“There’s joy in the endurance (of labor) because it was unto meeting our daughter. There was a sacredness to even the very heavy parts of it.”

When Abby first laid eyes on her baby girl she describes it as “mind blowing. There aren’t actually words to describe it. She was the joy set before me. The joy overwhelmed all of us.“

In response to my question as to what those first few days, weeks and months were like, Abby said “the first few days, weeks and months were so sanctifying. I felt like I was saved again. I thought I knew what it meant to lay down my life for someone and to be selfless, but I learned that I didn’t.” Abby shares that “there was no space to be lukewarm in my faith. It’s like being tested by fire, in the best way. Again, it was a joyful thing. So many tears of joy that Roman and I had in those days, and still have. It was a mountain top experience.”

I respect Abby’s sincere response to my question on if having a baby had affected her marriage. She said, “Yes, both in good ways and in hard ways.“

It’s been really sweet to see my husband’s heart come alive as a father. There’s so many times I soak in this sweetness. I’ve grown more in love with Roman as I’ve seen his heart come alive.”

“And then there were hard parts to it, like when he went back to work and I was still on maternity leave, trying to figure it out, processing the different roles. In the beginning the baby is a lot more dependent on mom and dad can’t do much. Yes, we are sharing this experience, but there are parts of this experience you don’t understand. And there are parts of his experience I don’t understand. So, there were moments of conflict and we had to work through it and talk through it, which ultimately brought us more connection.“

“I had to recognize acknowledge and confess that if I didn’t address these things my heart could have become bitter. Like when Roman went back to work. Here I am bearing the load of this while he enters back to normal life. I had to take those thoughts captive. You have to be very intentional.”

After a brief interruption by sweet Emersyn, we were back for the last few questions I had for Abby. I asked her what life was like as a mother now that her baby girl is almost a year old? Abby said life was “still so very sweet. I feel more settled in this role as a mom. ..Settling into my new normal more and naturally bringing her into our lives more and more. The first 6 months was a hunker down time, which I think is normal. She’s getting more settled in too.“

With Emersyn almost a year old, Abby says “We’re settling into our new normal.”

Her answer to what her dreams prayers, hopes, and desires for her baby girl are was the following; “That’s what’s so sweet. She’s an eternal soul and there are so many things that are yet to unfold in her life…my prayer for her is that she would always have this sense, like Esther, that she was born for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). I would love for our girl to grow up always knowing that she has purpose and that the Lord dreamed her up and created her for such a time as this, and for this generation.” Abby added that “a prayer for this generation is for steadiness in the Lord. As confusion runs rampant that she (Emersyn) would be one to know truth and steady herself in the truth. I would love for her to know friendship with the Lord at a young age, and to know what is it like to hear His voice.“

“That would be the biggest answered prayer, that she would know what it means to have friendship with the Lord, and never would go a day without it”

Abby’s advice to a pregnant or a brand new mom is touching. She says, “There’s a lot of motherhood that is unseen. Working that muscle in the night hours, the Lord sees, the Lord knows and communion with the Lord is available even there. Motherhood, especially in the beginning, can feel isolating. All the newness. It’s been important for me to remind my soul and spirit that the Lord sees and it’s beautiful to Him. He sees it as ministry to Him. It’s sacred and powerful to remind ourselves that God sees and His heart is moved by a mothers love for her child.“

“The loneliness and humility that comes with motherhood moves the Lord’s heart. Work that spiritual muscle. It’s significant kingdom work that moms do.”

Abby wanted to encourage new mothers to listen to Laura Hackett’s song called “Stay Lowly”. This song is special to Abby and has ministered to her powerfully in this new season of Motherhood.

“I thank You, Father, for You humbled all the proud
You give to babies what the wise may never know
You givе Your power to a mother and her child
Thе meek and lowly ones will have Your kingdom

Stay Lowly by Laura Hackett

I have so enjoyed watching Abby become a mother to Emersyn. She is a wonderful mom. She has patience, wisdom and love for her baby girl that is precious to witness. Emersyn is blessed to have such a godly woman as Abby to be her mother.

May the Lord continue to guide all the young momma’s out there and may they lean into the Head Shepherd throughout their journey of motherhood. As Abby said, it’s kingdom work Raising children in the ways of the Lord. And as C.S. Lewis says, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

The Lord bless all God honoring mothers. God bless you Abby. I love and appreciate you. I’m grateful for your love for the Lord. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of grandmotherhood.

“Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.” ~ Psalm 127:3