What Can One Do When Mother’s Day Is Painful?

“Mother’s Day has been set aside as a time for public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country.” ~ President Woodrow Wilson

Thank God for our mothers! Most of us love our momma’s dearly, and celebrating them on Mother’s Day is a joy.

However, Mother’s Day can also be a very painful day for some. There are many reasons this day can hurt. Perhaps you have lost your beloved mother and are still grieving her absence. Or maybe your mother is alive and well, but you have a strained relationship. She just doesn’t seem to understand you. And then there are married women that are unable to get pregnant, facing the lonely road of infertility. Or the single woman that wants nothing more then to be married and have a family of her own, but she can’t even get a date. Then there’s the mother that is facing her worst fear-losing her child.

Depending on your situation, you may be filled with fear, sorrow or dread as Mother’s Day approaches.

I lost my precious mother almost 23 years ago. She left us way too early at the age of sixty-five. My mother was my confidante and best friend, and I loved spending Mother’s Day with her. The Lord (and time) are great healers, and slowly I found my new normal, and became accustomed to life without her. I will, however, never forget that first Mother’s Day without her. It was quite possibly one of the saddest days of my life.

So, what can one do when Mother’s Day is painful? Quite frankly, there isn’t one simple answer. We are each wired differently and will, therefore, process our sorrows uniquely. I can only share my own personal experience in the hope of helping you to not dread Mother’s Day, but to find peace in the midst of your disappointment.

First of all, I want to validate your pain. Whatever your circumstances are, I encourage you to acknowledge your sorrow. It’s important to be honest with yourself, and with God. If we ignore our sadness, it doesn’t go away. In fact, it may even deepen.

Be intentional about spending some quality time with your heavenly Father to talk with Him specifically about your pain.

In Mark 6:31 Jesus says to His followers,  “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” This is an invitation for each one of us, and especially in times of weariness. We can find healing for our aching heart when we are alone with Father God, and we pray from our heart, praying to Him in secret. It might be helpful to imagine yourself sitting on His lap with His strong loving arms around you. Invite His presence and begin to share your heart with Him, holding nothing back. Cry if you need to, letting your tears be a prayer to your Lord and Savior. Then, after you have expressed your grief, ask Him to heal the wounds in your soul. Allow yourself to imagine what God the Father would respond to you. You may want to close your eyes. This is sometimes called “Listening Prayer.”

“God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer.” ~ Mother Teresa

Listening prayer requires us being still in the presence of the Lord. Learning to let go of all distractions and being still with God takes time, discipline and practice. But it is a good habit to develop because it allows us to sense God’s nearness, as well as His wisdom and guidance. Psalm 46:10 states, “Surrender your anxiety. Be still and realize that I am God.” I’ve heard that to “Be Still” can be translated as “let go” or “relax.” When we are hurting, relaxing can feel quite challenging. However, it’s what the Lord wants us to do with Him, especially when we are sad about something so important as our sad feelings towards Mother’s Day. Matthew 6:6 guides us in this-“But whenever you pray, go into your innermost chamber and be alone with Father God,  praying to him in secret.“

God sees us, knows us and cares deeply, about every detail of our lives.

If you are dreading Mother’s Day, I encourage you to sit with the One that can comfort you best-your Creator. This may sound very simple, but the truth is Jesus wants us to have simple faith, faith like a little child. We are His children, and He understands us like no one else. Think about what little children want and do when they are sad and hurting…they want a safe and comforting adult to hold them in their arms, tell them they are valued, important and comfort them. Your Father wants to do this for you. He is your hiding place, your safe place.

The power of prayer is mighty. God is with you and He wants you to come to Him with every burden you carry. This Mother’s Day, bathe in His extravagant love for you, and rest in His peace… And then go buy yourself some beautiful flowers. You deserve them.

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” ~ Matthew 11:28