“My trust in God flows out of the experience of his loving me, day in and day out, whether the day is stormy or fair, whether I’m sick or in good health, whether I’m in a state of grace or disgrace. He comes to me where I live and loves me as I am.” ~ Brennan Manning
Have you ever felt shame for something you did or said? I mean, shame so deep that you wondered if God could ever forgive you. Regret is an extremely painful feeling, and your inability to forgive yourself can give a foothold to Satan as well as rob you of the abundant life God wants for you.
Extending grace to yourself is difficult but necessary for your growth as a Christ follower.
To compound your guilt, the enemy will jump on the opportunity and begin to speak lies to you about what a “bad” person you are. God, however, would never speak to you in such a hopeless manner, but rather will remind you of His destiny for you, and His great love for you.
Understanding God’s grace is critical for us if we are to forgive ourselves.
First of all, it’s important to remember that at the very core of the Christian faith is God’s grace. It’s why God sent His son, Jesus, to earth-to take on our sins upon Himself so that we could live forgiven. Romans 5:8 tells us that grace is God’s love for His creation, which is you and I. Romans 5:8 says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Basically, grace is undeserved mercy. This is one reason why it’s very important to forgive those that have hurt us-because God has forgiven us for so much. Although forgiving others can be challenging, sometimes forgiving ourselves is even harder.
However, there are some beautiful lessons we can learn about God when we extend grace to ourselves.
- God is El Roi, the God who sees us.
In Genesis 16 there is a story of redemption for a servant woman named Haggar. After having been used by Abraham and Sarai for their own selfish motives, Haggar becomes pregnant with Abraham’s child, only to later be cast out. In her sadness, she runs away and is found weeping in the wilderness when the angel of the Lord comes to minister to her wounded heart. Haggar then says, “You are the God who sees me” (Genesis 16:13-14).
God sees us, and loves us for who we are.
I find this incredibly comforting because when I mess up, I can still have faith in a God that loves me unconditionally, and is always willing to extend grace to me. His mercies are new every morning. If my Heavenly Father can accept me the way I am (even when I make mistakes), then I too can accept myself.
God doesn’t loves us for anything we do or don’t do, but loves us for who we are.
God is El-Roi, the God who sees us. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He wants us to have faith in His amazing love for us.
2. God knows our heart
God doesn’t judge us by our mistakes. He knows our heart and sees our motives. Jeremiah 17:10 says, “But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives.” And in another verse, 1 Samuel 16:7, the Bible says, “The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
When we make a mistake and need to forgive ourselves, it may help to know that God sees your heart and knows your motives, and He understands. If you have confessed your mistake to Him, you can be confident hat He forgives you. So then, if God Almighty isn’t holding on to your sinful actions, then you need to let them go as well.
God doesn’t hold your sin against you (Psalm 32:1-2).
It is, however, important we do our part and be honest with God by confessing and repenting of our wrong or foolish behavior.
3. God loves us
Understanding and embracing God’s love for us personally is one of the most critical things we can do as a Christ follower. My life changed dramatically when I was able to grasp, with my heart, how deep the Father’s love for me is. As parents we have an advantage because we love our children unconditionally. This is how God our Father in Heaven, loves us too. In fact, I believe His love for us is so deep that our human minds can not fully understand it. However, the Lord’s desire is for us is to embrace His love for us. Ephesians 3:18 says, “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.”
See yourself through God’s perspective to see your true worth.
4. God is grace
God’s grace can only be received by faith. This means we have to forgive ourselves by faith too. We don’t have to work at being forgiven, we simply have to repent of our sinful nature (daily) and believe in our hearts, by faith, that God loves us and that He forgives us when we come to Him in repentance. 1 John 1:9 helps with this truth. It says, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”
Sometimes we keep slipping back into bad behavior. I believe this is where the enemy comes in-in our moment of weakness. Don’t give up, keep confessing and repenting and believing that God sees you, knows you, loves you and forgives you. If you have to repent fifty times a day, that’s okay! One of these days it will be only be forty times a day, and eventually you will see your old sinful behavior gone. Too often we get caught up in Satan’s web of believing we will never change, or that our sinful behavior will never go away. Pray for discernment to recognize satan’s voice from God’s voice-the voice of truth. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to keep persevering and to believe with your heart that God loves you.
Have a quiet assurance in your soul that God is whispering to you “keep going. Don’t give up. I love you as you are.”
Forgiving yourself is not always easy. However, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can believe that God forgives you every time you ask Him to. The truth is, as Christians everything we do is by faith. Our entire walk with the Lord is done by faith. We believe in Jesus as the savior of the world, by faith. When we pray, we believe, by faith, that God is hearing us. When we need comfort, it is by faith that we trust He is near. In this same way, when we need to extend grace to ourselves, we have to, by faith, believe in a merciful, loving, God of grace.
I pray you come to know the Father’s deep love for you. He sent His one and only son, Jesus, to die for you so that you could live in freedom. We honor Him by walking in His grace, believing in His great love for us, knowing that we can forgive ourselves simply because He has.
“May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.”
~ 2 Peter 1:2
Beautiful post, Tweeny! You have such wisdom at just the right time!
Marie,
You are such a blessing to me. I love you. Thank you for encouraging my writings. 🙂