Should Christians Use Online Dating Services?

“We’ve now been married for four-and-a-half years and we have two precious kids. There’s no doubt in our minds that God, not our dating site, was our ultimate matchmaker.” (From “Is Online Dating Biblical” by Jim Daly)

I wasn’t always open to online dating services for Christians. I felt it was a lack of faith to go on these sites.

Then I started hearing about solid Christian couples getting married, after meeting on a dating app, and I began to validate these sites more.

Today I see dating services as another avenue for God to bring His people together.

Dating for Christian men and woman can be challenging. A Christian has to be more selective in who they date because they want to marry someone of their same faith (2 Corinthians 6:14). Moreover, since Christians have a smaller pool of people to choose from, they don’t have as much opportunity to organically meet other singles.

Many Christians still do meet their spouses easily, through a mutual friend, church or their job. Yet, there are many young adults that are struggling to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. On top of getting out and being social, pursuing a community of young adults through church, today single young adult Christians can also use dating sites as a means to meeting other unmarried Christians.

Could a dating service be God’s pathway to introducing His children to one another?

There is, however, a stigma attached to the idea. Many Christians feel they are acting out of desperation and wrestle with shame at the thought of signing up on a dating service. The truth is, that God is the ultimate matchmaker, and He can use a dating service to accomplish His will. If we admit that God is sovereign, then we are affirming that He is in control of every detail in our life. This includes how you may meet your future spouse.

If a dating service is a potential tool used by God, then how come so many Christian singles are so hesitant to sign up?

Recently, I had the opportunity to discuss this topic with 3 beautiful single women in their mid 20’s. Our discussion is what inspired me to write this blog. These young ladies said they would love to meet a godly man and get married. They were, however, very uncomfortable signing up on a dating app. Their reasons were a.) they didn’t like the idea of “weird” guys being able to look them up, b.) they believe if God wants them to get married then He would open a door (in a more natural way) for their future spouse to come into their lives, and c.) they felt a little embarrassed, especially if their peers, and people from their church, knew they were on a dating app.

One of the women said, “I’m not sure why, but it just feels so scary to me. Although I’m sure there are probably less weird guys on there than I imagine in my mind. 95% are probably just normal humans, but I still feel afraid.”

I know many single Christian men and woman relate to these women. Many believe that they don’t need to “put themselves out there” because God will bring them a spouse to marry, if it’s His will. I get that. I used to think that way too.

Please don’t get be wrong, I’m not trying to push dating services. I’m just trying to encourage Christians to keep an open mind to them. Meeting your future spouse organically is ideal, but if that’s not happening then why not try something that has proven to be positive for so many.

Dating sites are a supplemental way of meeting that someone special.

Certainly one has to be wise and make sure they have good boundaries when going on a date through a dating app. For example, meet in a public place, park in a safe place, and let friends and family know exactly where you are meeting (maybe even connect on a location finder app). We have to use wisdom in all areas of our lives, but especially when it comes to meeting a stranger.

Yet, it’s true, that most of the people on these dating sites are normal individuals just trying to find a companion.

Most likely they are just as anxious as you. Also keep in mind, you actually have a lot of control on a dating site. You don’t have to go on any dates, or even interact with any individual. As long as you are praying, you can count on God to make it clear what steps you ought to take.

God is still the ultimate matchmaker. A dating site may be the avenue He chooses to introduce you to your future spouse.

The most important thing you can do as a single Christian waiting on God to answer your prayers for a spouse is to stay strong in your faith. Pray and seek God on whether or not you ought to try a dating site. Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment. As long as you are in an intimate relationship with the Lord, you can trust the Holy Spirit’s to lead you.

If you are a single Christian that desires to get married but is having a hard time meeting someone, I encourage you to be open to God possibly using a dating services as an avenue for you. There doesn’t need to be any shame for you as a Christian single person to use this means to meeting a potential spouse. Simply start with a willingness to pray and seek the Lord on if this may be something He wants you to try.

Signing up on a dating site does not mean a Christian lacks faith.

I’ve changed my attitude towards dating services. Today I believe it is perfectly okay for single Christians to go on online dating sites. After all, God is still and always will be, the ultimate matchmaker. He can use anything, including a dating service as an avenue to bring His people together.

For those Christians that have met your spouse from a dating site, we would love to hear from you. Please share your experience and wisdom with us. What you share would be an encouragement to all of us.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve heard positive things about the Coffee Meets Bagel dating app. 😉

“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”~ 2 Timothy 2:22