The Danger Of Emotional Living

“Christians have experiences and they have feelings, but, if they are wise, they never feed upon these things, but upon Christ, Himself.”~ Charles Spurgeon

I would say that I am an emotional person. I’m extremely sensitive, and I tend to feel things deeply. This can be good because it helps me to be compassionate and empathetic towards others. However, it can also get me in trouble.

An emotional person relies too much on their feelings. Our feelings, however, are unreliable. If we’re not careful we can become an emotional addict, or a people pleaser (also known as codependency). This has been my own personal struggle.

Since I often look for the approval of others, my natural tendency is to allow others to define my worth. Because of this, I can get on a rollercoaster of emotions, which has often robbed me of peace and joy.

Relying on our emotions leads to an unstable mind.

Not long ago, someone spoke some extremely harsh words to me. It was her opinion on a decision I had made recently. She doesn’t agree with me, or my choices, and decided to voice her disapproval to me directly. My first reaction was to feel extreme hurt and sorrow. But since I’ve grown up a people pleaser, I then, impulsively, began to question if perhaps she was accurate in her judgment of my choices. I was, subconsciously,  validating her opinion and thoughts, over my own!

It was the words in my husband’s text that awakened me and snapped me out of my emotional confusion. He said, “many will judge our decisions. There’s only one that matters.” Reading his words of truth, spoken into my situation, helped me take a step away from getting on that rollercoaster of emotions.

Allowing ourselves to be led by our feelings can be harmful.

There are many ways that people let their feelings control them. Sometimes it can be in a relationship, when they base the value of their relationship on their emotions. The motto is “if I’m not feeling it, it must not be right.” It’s very sad when a potentially good relationship is severed based on one’s feelings, and it is especially heart breaking when this happens in a marriage.

Anger is another example of how dangerous it is to allow our emotions to dominate. People have done all sorts of crazy, abrupt things out of anger, including murder. This is an overwhelming emotion that often makes people lose complete self control.

Perhaps the most powerful emotion, however, is fear. Fear brings with it anxiety, and worry. These emotions are very challenging to re-direct on our own, and if we allow them to, we can get stuck in bondage, and/or make poor choices. For example, the fear of intimacy leads to loneliness and isolation which then can lead to addictions. Or the fear of failure can prevent one from taking a risk in a career, or a ministry. There are many things that cause people to be paralyzed with fear, and yet, the Bible tells us over and over again to fear not!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”~2 Timothy 1:7.

It’s important to acknowledge and validate your feelings, but it’s critical to look to Jesus for confirmation.

You cannot rely on your emotions to define you or your circumstances. Instead, learn how to wean yourself from being an emotional addict by going to the throne of Grace in every situation, and ask Jesus what His will for you is. We can count on Him, for He is trustworthy. Just make sure you take the time to be still with Him so that you hear His gentle nudgings accurately.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ~Galatians 1:10

In my case, with my “friend” and her harsh words towards me, once I spent some time in prayer, talking to the Lord, I was able to shut the door on the turbulence of emotions I was about to let in. I realized that, as my husband had so wisely said, I live for the audience of One, and His name is Jesus Christ. He is the only one that I want to be controlled by. On this particular day, I heard Him whisper to my heart, “you processed your decision with me. It was the right and best choice for you.” That was all the reassurance I needed. Glory be to God for being a reliable guide.

As children of God, we must learn to submit to the leadership and lordship of Jesus Christ alone.

Training ourselves to live beyond our feelings and seeking God on our circumstances, even when things may feel wrong and our emotions are screaming at us, is how God wants us to live. This is especially important when we need to walk by faith, relying on God for something we need or want. At times like this every negative emotion will be triggered in us. We can, and must, however, teach ourselves to believe in God whether we’re feeling strong in our faith or not.

There is no better place to be than in the center of God’s will. In order to follow Him in this way, we must coach ourselves to rely on Him, and not on our feelings. As the great preacher, Charles Spurgeon, has said, “The true way for a Christian to live is to live entirely upon Christ… Christians have experiences and they have feelings, but, if they are wise, they never feed upon these things, but upon Christ, Himself.” May you and I honor God by cultivating a habit of living in this way.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” ~Romans 12:2

Photo credit: from Unsplash.com (Priscilla Du Preez, Ben White)