“Is the condition of my heart my greatest concern? It should be because it is so determinative of every aspect of life. It ultimately determines my love for God and for others. It determines who I am and what I do.” ~ J.Hampton Keathley, III*
If you are a Christian, you have most likely been told numerous times to “Guard your heart…” (Proverbs 4:23). You probably respond with a confident, “Oh yes, for sure I will!”
However, do you really understand what it means to be vigilant over your heart?
Although guarding your heart in this verse means being aware of your thoughts, emotions, desires and choices, many mis-interpret guarding your heart to mean “Watch out; danger ahead!” Consequently, they end up putting barriers around their heart, robbing themselves of joy, especially with dating.
The truth is God created you for relationship and He wants you to enjoy romance. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable as you get to know an individual intimately is part of a growing relationship. On the other hand, it is also wise in your courtship to guard your heart. This is because your whole life is guided by the condition of your heart, as the second part of Proverbs 4:23 states, “…for it determines the course of your life.“
Please note, this command is for all your relationships, not only for the romantic ones.
The secret to guarding your heart is simple; strengthen yourself in the Lord and He will guard your heart.
What this means is, your heart needs to belong to Jesus first. He actually will guard your heart for you, as Philippians 4:7 tells us; “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Therefore, the most important thing you can do for yourself and for all your relationships, is to nurture a deep intimacy with Jesus. In this way you will be guarding your heart because it will be a natural outflow of the stability you have in Him.
I sincerely believe that the number one problem in most troubled relationships is that individuals are not standing on a solid foundation of their faith before they get involved in an intimate relationship. They naively think that their joy and fulfillment lies in another human being. This is a huge misconception. No human being can ever fulfill you.
Only Jesus can complete you.
So, how do you know if you are strong in the Lord? Here’s a check list for you:
1. Read and apply God’s Word to your daily life.
How is your Bible reading going? Is it consistent? The Word of God is alive and has power. God speaks to us through it. Make it your lifeline and “drink” from it every single day. James 1:22 says this: “Do not deceive yourselves by just listening to his word; instead, put it into practice.“
I cannot emphasize enough how critical it is for a follower of Christ to read His Word daily and to live out His commandments. Dying to your own selfish desires and living for God’s is the best protection for your heart.
As it is written in Psalm 119:9, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.“
2. Be honest through accountability.
Galatians 6:2 tells us to “Help carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will obey the law of Christ.” Sharing your life authentically with another brother or sister in Christ is critical to a healthy soul. Unconfessed sin is a breeding ground for destruction.
God tells us to confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:9) and to another human being (James 5:16) and we will find grace and healing.
Being accountable means being honest, to God, yourself and to another human being. Learn to track and share your thought process. One translation (The Good News Translation) quotes Proverbs 4:23 like this; “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.“
3. Pray diligently.
A disciplined and consistent prayer life is vital to the life of a Christian. God hears your prayers and He is faithful to them. You don’t need long, fancy words to talk to God. Talk to Him as you would a friend, and ask Him to help you learn how to guard your heart. Pray for the relationships in your life. As Colossians 4:2 tells you, “Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.“
I love how writer, Alex Harmening (Relevant magazine), sums it up. She says, “Perhaps the best way to guard our hearts is to abandon them to Jesus.“
Spend time with Jesus and ask Him to reveal to you the condition of your heart. He will aid you in each and every area that you may need help. As you surrender yourself completely to Him, you will protect your heart because He will be in control of it. This is how you guard your heart.
Hold on to Jesus, and He will hold on to you. This requires a leap of faith, to trust by faith that He’s got you.
I encourage you to be honest with yourself about your walk with Christ and how it may need strengthening. Is it reading His Word, confession and accountability, or is it your prayer life that may need fine tuning? As you work on nurturing your relationship with the Lord, you will, by default, be guarding your heart.
Please feel free to share in a comment below, what “guarding your heart” means to you.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” ~ Psalm 51:10
Photo Credits: Nikki Randall Photography
Beautiful reminder to allow the discretion of our Lord allow in and filter out those who fulfill His will. Surrendering to Him is allowing His wisdom to guard our hearts. Thank you for this
This is very well said. The only addition that I would make is to use discretion in the choosing your accountability partner. Ideally that person should have integrity, be trustworthy, and spiritually mature.
Valerie
Thanks Valerie! I agree with you that our accountability person should have integrity, be trustworthy and spiritually mature. That’s a very good point you make. 🙂
I have often wondered what was meant by Proverbs 4:23! Thank you for sharing the wisdom and insight God places in you. This makes so much sense now and you’ve shown me how to apply this in my daily life. It so true that He does answer our prayers.
I love how you put it – Hold on to Jesus and He will hold on to me!
Lolly, you are a blessing to me! Thank you for your constant support of my writing. Love you girl!
Beautifully written, Tweeny! I love the scriptures you included, and the reminder that “guarding your heart” is really something the Lord does as you surrender your heart to Him.
Thank you Lisa! I appreciate your feedback. 🙂
Sweet friend, you have given this verse a whole knew meaning to me and helped me know exactly how I can apply it to my life, my realistic shops, but more importantly, my walk with Christ.
I always thought of it as guarding my heart (through my own strength and will) from “unsafe people” or situations in which I could get hurt or vulnerable with people that God wanted to protect me from. But, then I realized, I started closing my heart off from loving others completely. Closing your heart off to others means you close it off to God, as well, I soon realized. It’s an all or nothing deal!
But, you have opened my eyes to what God is truly saying, which is to give my heart fully to Jesus, who will then guide and protect me/my heart!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I love you!
Karen
Dear sister, thank you for leaving this kind comment. I’m so blessed that my words could be an encouragement to you. I love you too! 🙂