Giving Yourself Grace In The Seasons Of Transition

“If we prepare ourselves for life’s inevitables, we will not be perplexed by life’s transitions.” ~ Jack Hyles

I was completely blind sided. No one warned me that it would be this challenging.

The strong wave of emotions I was experiencing surprised me.

Desperate to be comforted I reached out to a few close friends.

My text message to them read:

“My life has come to a screeching halt of silence, solitude, isolation…And I’m not going to lie, it’s really hard…It’s the silence and the quiet that’s the hardest. My heart aches and yearns for those days when it was hustling and bustling around here, all the time.

I’m fighting off loneliness, refusing to give in to it, but acutely aware of the battle that is trying to rage inside of me. My mind keeps wanting to go back to the past…when all three children were home, doing their various activities that I was intimately involved with, and when they all were tucked in their individual beds at night, all under my roof.”

“You just need to give yourself grace in this season of transition,” said one friend.

Her words gave me immediate relief. I knew she was right. I was being too hard on myself when I realized that I had to let go of one season of life to move into the next.

So this is what being an “empty nester” feels like?

As a side note, I have to confess that I’ve been convicted because although I have already written a blog on being an empty nester (click here to read it), I had written it without having really experienced it.

I’ve learned some valuable lessons during this time of being an empty nester, but the most important thing I’ve learned is that it’s critical to give yourself grace when you are in a season of transition.

But what does giving yourself grace look like?

1. Allow yourself to feel

If you are anything like me, you just want to tell your emotions to go away so that you can get on with life.

This isn’t realistic, nor is it healthy.

You must allow yourself to feel

God created us with emotions. He placed our feelings within us for a reason. They help refine our character.

Even Jesus wept (John 11:35).  Even Jesus had emotions and when He heard that His dear friend Lazarus had died, He allowed Himself to feel them.

2. Don’t rush the season you are in

In seasons of change, there is a process that is a part of God’s plan to grow you.

Transitions take time and therefore, you cannot rush the process.

I am learning through this transition of full time motherhood into empty nesting, that I am, in a a sense, grieving.

I am grieving a loss of a love, a deep genuine fulfilling love that I always cherished. The love of being a full time, stay at home mother. I am grieving an end of an era.

And it’s okay.

It’s okay to grieve the end of a season before you move into the next one.

3. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy

One emotion you will most likely experience during a season of transition, is loneliness.

Loneliness is a thief. It robs us from peace, joy, energy and good health.  It steals, kills and destroys the abundant life that we were meant to live. It is one of the biggest tools Satan will attempt to use against you during a season of transition.

The loneliness you feel is real, but you don’t have to succumb to it. Try to resist falling into a trap of loneliness by reaching out to your church family and community.

Share your burdens honestly with others, asking them to pray for you and with you (Galations 6:2).

4. Crying is healthy

Crying is good for you. Crying cleanses your heart and soul.

Think of your tears as a form of prayer. They speak to God’s heart, when you can’t get the words out.

Know that God cares about your sorrows (Psalm 56:8). One of His names is El Roi, the God who sees. God sees all of your pains or needs, and nothing is out of His sight (Genesis 16:13).

5. Learn how to be still

For most of us, it’s very hard to be still. It’s against our nature to be content with our bodies and mind being still. Our nature is to be active, and we tend to be more comfortable “doing” things.

Often, however, God calls us to a season of silence and solitude with Him and we have to learn to be comfortable with being still with Him.

As you transition into the next season of your life, ask God to give you a vision for your life and a sense of His purpose for you.

6. Seek professional help if you need it

Sometimes a season of transition is so overwhelming that you may need to seek professional help, such as seeing a therapist or a medical doctor.

If you aren’t able to get out of bed, or you find you can’t function with your regular daily routines, you may need to call your doctor. Don’t feel bad getting help.

If you are in a season of transition right now, extend grace to yourself.

Give yourself permission to feel all your emotions, cry if you need to, and be comfortable being still with the Lord.

There is a grieving process when we let go of one season and move into the next. Allow yourself to grieve, while you rest in your current season of transition.

May you be content where you are, knowing that God won’t leave you there forever.  Have a joyful anticipation of what God has in store for you, trusting that His timing is always perfect.

I would love to hear from you on how you process a season of transition.

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” ~ Psalm 18:2