Fasting From Dating For A Year? Here’s What She Learned

God makes a home for the lonely. Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land’ (Ps. 68:6).

If I ever find, as a single, that I cannot cope with feelings of loneliness or unfulfillment, it is an indication that I am rebellious – unwilling to find all my fulfillment in God Himself.~ Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Since we were created for relationship, it’s natural to want romantic love and companionship. This is why being single can sometimes feel discouraging. 

Not being in a relationship, however, does not have to leave you feeling lonely or unfulfilled (tweet this). This week I had the joy of interviewing our family friend, Stacy, on the topic of dating and being single.

Stacy is a beautiful eighteen year old girl that is single. Recently she shared her journey of singleness with me.

I would like to share our conversation with you in the hopes that it will be an encouragement to you, especially if you are struggling with being single.

Tweeny: Do you like being single?

Stacy: No. I’m kind of sick of it.

Tweeny: How come?

Stacy: Mainly because all my friends are in a relationship. And I feel I’m ready to move on.

Tweeny: How do you know you’re ready to move on?

Stacy: Well, Last year I did a relationship fast. I took a year off to focus on nothing but my relationship with God.

Tweeny: Wow. I’ve never heard of a relationship fast. It sounds interesting. What was the reason for the fast?

Stacy: Because God told me to. I think because I was finding my identity in guys not God, and that’s absolutely never healthy

Tweeny: Very true. So, what did you learn?

Stacy:  There is too much to list! But the top three things I learned are: 

3. I learned who I am without the influence of a guy. I had no reason to be anyone but myself since I wasn’t in the dating game and didn’t have to attract any guys, and after that year I actually came to realize that who I truly am, the way God created me is so much more attractive and beautiful than trying to impress someone by being fake. 

I guess also, I just feel like I was able to grow in every aspect of my life throughout that time, so that was amazing.

Tweeny: Do you want to get married some day? 

Stacy: Heck yes! Preferably sooner than later 😉

Tweeny: Do you feel you are ready for marriage? 

Stacy: No, I don’t feel ready for marriage because I think in order to be ready for it, you one, need to be in a serious relationship, and two go through books, and really dive into what it means to be a wife. Since I haven’t done either, I don’t feel ready yet.

Tweeny: How do you know you are ready to move on and be in a relationship? 

 Tweeny: Do you feel you are restless while you are waiting on the Lord to bring “Mr. Right”?

Stacy: No, not restless because I know God’s plan is perfect and He will bring the man I’m supposed to be with when the timing’s right, but sometimes I wish the timing would be now.

 Stacy: Wisdom – take some intentional time off from dating and seeking relationships and actively pursue your relationship with God, it can always improve, and it’s such an amazing growth opportunity.

Encouragement – just because you’re single, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you! There are so many guys out there, who would be lucky to have you. I know it’s cliche, but I fully believe that God is waiting, for whatever reason, to bring the right person to you, it’s best when you let Him take control, because He knows what’s best for each and every single person out there. 

Tweeny: Is there one verse that is helping you during this season of waiting on the Lord? 

Stacy: Yes! Proverbs 4:23. It says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  And if it instructs in the bible to guard your heart, then that’s probably something we should do, right? 

Tweeny: It sounds like taking that year off to fast from dating and to focus on your relationship with God helped you grow a lot spiritually and emotionally. Thank you so much for sharing your heart Stacy.

No matter what age you are, if you are single, maybe you want to consider laying down your desire to be in a relationship and intentionally refrain from dating, for a period of time. Use the time, like Stacy did, to enrich your relationship with Christ and to learn more about yourself. It’s definitely something to pray and think about.

Please feel free to share in a comment below any wisdom you may have for singles and how to use the time of singleness to grow in their walk with Christ.