“Falling in love is not an act of the will or a conscious choice. It just happens to you. Keeping love alive, however, takes effort and selfless service.” ~ Gary Chapman
So he finally proposed and you’re getting married? Congratulations to you both!
This is an exciting time for you as you prepare to make a holy covenant before God (Malachi 2:14) to spend the rest of your lives together, “til death do you part.”
Understandably, a lot of attention is given to the wedding day. In the hustle and bustle of all the planning, it’s important that you also give some serious time and thought in planning your marriage.
Bringing two separate lives together to mesh as one is something that has to be learned (Ephesians 5:31).
The reality is, both people bring in their own individual set of “baggage” to the marriage, and sometimes living in blissful harmony is challenging. Other times, our sinful nature of being selfish takes over and we can become lazy and/or careless and end up unintentionally hurting our partner.
You can start now to prepare for your marriage and learn the art of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship (tweet this).
Here are three healthy habits to nurture your marriage:
1. Be willing to think of your spouses needs before your own
Acts 20:35 says, “You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'”
It really is more blessed to give than to receive. Learning to think of your spouse’s needs before your own is a God honoring way to live. By being self-less you will be encouraging the growth of your relationship.
Philippians 2:3-5 says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.“
Pick your battles wisely
You are going to disagree. Some things are worth fighting for, and some just aren’t.
Always be willing to negotiate and compromise.
You can live selflessly by being understanding of your spouse’s needs and wants.
2. Learn your spouses love language
If you haven’t already, read Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages” and figure out what your partners’ love language is. Once you know it, start applying it daily, eve if it feels uncomfortable to you.
My husband and I didn’t even know that we had different “love languages” until we went through marital counseling. We then learned why our love tanks had been empty. My husband’s love language is “acts of service” and mine is “quality time.” He was always doing things around the house thinking he was showing me how much he loved me. And while he was busy doing acts of services, I was craving for him to spend time with me!
Make sure you both know one another’s love language.
3. Don’t assume your spouse can read your mind
A common communication problem that many couples have is they don’t know how to express what they are feeling. Learn how to express your needs and wants to your partner in a gentle and loving way.
It’s also important to discuss your expectations. Un-expressed expectations often lead to resentment.
We are all imperfect. Ask God to help you to accept and love your spouse by letting go of any unrealistic expectations of them.
I praise God that in a few months my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. It hasn’t always been easy, but I am so grateful that we both were committed to one another and fought through the tough times.
These three habits have helped us build a stronger marriage.
May you find the strength, faith and courage to always be willing to do whatever it takes to honor God through your marriage.
Lord bless you as you embark on this blessed journey called matrimony.
Please leave me a comment below on any wisdom you have to share with those who are getting married.
“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself…and the wife must respect her husband.“~ Ephesians 5:28, 33
Photo Credit: CharityWhite Photography
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Thanks for your kind comment. Yes, it is a paid theme, built on Genesis WordPress framework. I had my son help me customize it. Do you blog? Also, I’m curious as to how did you come across my blog?