Most of us grow up believing that fairy tales are true and that our prince in shining armor will come, swoop us off our feet, and that we will then live happily ever after.
Movies, hollywood and the world around us confirms this way of thinking.
Love is determined by butterflies in our stomach and the excitement we feel.
The world defines love by how you feel.
We are, in fact, taught that if the warm sensation we are experiencing towards someone stops, it means that our love has died.
I myself have thought this way most of my life. Didn’t you?
In 2002 my marriage fell apart and my husband and I were separated. Divorce seemed to be the only option for us since the warm exciting feelings had died, at least for my husband.
We were separated for a total of eighteen months. During this time I met my true love. His name is Jesus Christ. He swooped me off my feet and became my royal husband (Psalm 45:11).
During this time of separation, fortunately for our family, my husband also met and committed his life to Jesus.
It was Jesus that saved our marriage and it is Jesus that holds our marriage together today.
Today, as born again Christians, my husband and I have a new definition for love.
We have learned that love is a choice. It’s a choice to stay committed to one another
It’s a choice to consciously work at our marriage.
It’s a choice to make our marriage a priority.
It’s a choice to love and respect one another the way our Lord, Jesus Christ, would want us to.
A marital relationship is like a triangle with Jesus at the top of the triangle and each spouse at the other two ends.
Each person has to be responsible for themselves. We do this by being individually accountable to God, by looking up to Him and keeping Him in the center of our hearts.
After all, on judgment day we will have to give an account for our own behavior, not our spouse’s (1 John 4:17).
Love is sacrificial, and therefore, no matter how difficult it gets, you must do your part.
Do your part unto the Lord. This means you are responsible for your role as a wife or a husband (click to read some verses for husbands and wives) for God.
You have to be selfless.
You have to be humble.
You have to think of your spouse as better than yourself.
Why?
Because it honors God when you act on what God wants and not on what you want.
God tells us in Philippians:2-4…
“Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.“
Living for Jesus is not easy. There are no shortcuts. The Bible even says that the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it (Matthew 7:14).
I want to be one of those few.
I hope you do too.
I believe that marriage is an avenue that God can use to refine our character.
Our marital relationship helps us to become more Christ-like (1 Peter 1:14-16).
One final reminder-the most important thing you can do for your marriage is to pray.
Pray. Pray. Pray.
Pray when times are good, and pray when times are bad.
Pray for protection over your marriage.
Pray especially when you don’t feel like praying for your spouse and marriage.
With God there are no coincidences. It is no coincidence that you are married to the person you are married to.
Won’t you allow God to use your spouse to teach you about Himself?
I would love to hear your feedback on any marital issues. Leave me a comment below or email me.
“For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage…” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:14.
You have learned so much over the years! You bring a fresh perspective, and I love and appreciate your insight as always. You have everything right regarding marriage my sweet friend. Our marriage continues to grow as we go through trials. But we rejoice in each other and in keeping Him in the center. Praise God we just celebrated our 37th anniversary! Thank you Father for giving me such a wonderful man at such a young age. He always has our best in mind!
Sherry,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. To have been married 37 years is wonderful. Congratulations to you my friend. Mike and you are a beautiful example of what a godly marriage ought to look like. I know you live in that triangle I talked about in this blog post. Thank you for being role models for the rest of us. You are both blessed to have each other.
I love you my sister~
Tweeny
Thanks Sis, love you so much! Keep writing!
Actually, it was 9:01pm not 2:01 AM funny website! BTW I love your wedding photo!
LOL! Yes I know, many things have to be ironed out yet on my new blog site. Thank you for pointing that out about the time. I probably wouldn’t have noticed. I have fixed it now.
Glad you liked our wedding picture. It feels like so long ago and yet like yesterday.
🙂
What a beautiful post about marriage Tweeny. So proud of you; and proud of having a friend like you. Have a blessed weekend.
Thank you sweet Juliana. I am so proud of you!!! You are a strong woman of God that also has fought for your marriage. God is so pleased with you my dear.
Love you~
Tweeny
Well said
well done
keep it up and your kids shall admire you forever
Thanks my dear cousin. I appreciate your feedback:)
Thanks Tweeny!
I still remember the night you asked me “What was your part in this?” I thought you were crazy, my husband had cheated, not me! Now I know in my co dependency I worshiped him and not God. Today, my heart still aches for my ex to become a healthy man of God and return to me, but most of all I too found the love of Jesus that makes my heart sing with happiness. I feel this was the reason you were brought into my life…to lead me to a life full of God’s love.
Phyllis
Dear Phyllis,
It blesses me so much to read your words and see your growth. I too remember the angry and scared woman I met years ago. But today you are a strong woman leaning on God. It’s so beautiful to witness. I feel blessed and grateful that the Lord had me on your path for a while there. It brings me great joy to see where He has brought you. Thanks for always sharing and supporting me Phyllis. I really appreciate it.
Wit love,
Tweeny
Oh I agree, Tweeny- and love that you included “pray, pray, pray”. It is amazing how
GOD purifies my heart toward my husband when I pray for him – especially while going through trials. I begin to focus more on his godly character and not any “perceived” weaknesses. My desire is to always see my husband (and everybody) thru GOD’S EYES and not my own…Marriage is such a gift – thanks for your encouraging words.
It’s so true what you shared here. Prayer (as you and I experienced together) is one of the most powerful things we can do for our marriages. It helps us to shift the false belief that we have control and surrender it to the One that really does. I will never forget those days of fighting for our marriages through our prayers. Thanks for your comment. Love you~
I am among a “cloud of witnesses” that cheer you and Will on! This is a true “fairy tale” — and though you have had your valleys and dark days, it encourages all of us that God is the true Healer, and Restorer. I love that when we go through struggles, He uses it for our good, but for all who are watching as well. He is a great God!
Love you!
Julie
Julie, I love you! You were definitely planted in our lives as part of God’s plan for us. Thank you for always being so good to me and my entire family. You are right, God is a great God!
Thanks for sharing here.:)
Tweeny,
Thank you so much for your encouragement. I appreciate your willing to be real and authentic. Christ is so faithful!!!
Love you!!
Sarah
Sarah,
Thank you for commenting and encouraging me. You are right on= Christ is so faithful!!!
I am so proud of your choices to follow Him and His ways.
Love you too~
Tweeny