I have a confession to make and that is that I have been feeling really isolated and lonely lately. The reason for this is because I do not feel connected to a group of people in my life.
Another way to say this is that I do not have community in my life. I am not living life with others (other than my immediate family). 
Do you ever feel like you live life ALONE?
Although I have a close relationship with God, and with my husband and children, I feel a tugging that there’s some void in my life.
I know there is our Church. I love my church family, but I will be honest and confess that I haven’t built a foundation outside of Sunday services. This is my own fault.
I don’t think I am alone. I think most Americans live their lives like I do. This is because community is not a priority for most Americans today.
And this is a problem.
We were created for community.
Relationships are important to God – a relationship with Him and relationships with others. He never intended for us to live alone.
You can read about this in Genesis 2:18-22. In Genesis 2:18 God said “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”
I was raised in a strong community in Belgium. My parents had a lot of family and friends around.
We shared our lives together.
We went to parks together and had picnics.
We went to each other’s homes.
We shared meals together and just hung out.
We went to one another’s events.
We supported one another through good times and bad.
We did life together.
Today I’m not doing life with anyone except my immediate family.
How about you? Do you have a strong, supportive community? Do you have a group of people that you feel intimate with? If yes, I am really jealous of you.
Seriously though, I am.
I am aching for fellowship.
Fellowship with people that I can have a common bond with.
Fellowship with people I can have a connection with.
Fellowship with people that can relate with me.
Fellowship with people I can have a mutual love and concern with.
Fellowship with people that I can do life with.
Fellowship with people I can have deep meaningful relationships with.
Don’t get me wrong. I have a lot of friends. I really do. But I don’t do life with them on the level I am yearning for. So, what is the problem?
I believe the problem in the American culture is that people are too busy.
It really is that simple.
Everyone is busy, including me.
We are busy working or doing ministry or taking care of our little ones or involved in other activities.
There is nothing wrong with each of these things. We need to work, and do ministry and raise our children and be involved with activities.
But there is something wrong with having no time for building a community with others around you.
We need to make this a priority.
We need to reach out to others.
We need to invite them to our homes.
We need to go to their homes.
We need to sit around a bonfire, roast marshmallows and do life together.
We need to build community.
God created us to do so.
It starts with you and I making the difference.
We need to take the initiative and do these things. Be the first one to reach out.
Reach out until a connection happens.
I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a stretch for me. I get comfortable in my daily routine. But I’m still lonely and I’m still feeling isolated.
More importantly I’m not living the way God intended for me to live.
Here are some choices you and I can make this week:
Make a phone call just to say hi.
Invite a family over for dinner.
Invite a family to go out for dessert.
Invite a family to come over and play board games.
Invite a family to go to a play, a football game, or any other local event.
So what are you willing to commit to doing this week? Write to me and tell me. We can hold each other accountable.
“All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.”~Acts 2:42
Love your insight as always. Yes, God did make us to need one another in community. You listed several good reasons why this is difficult. Let me throw one more at you: Seasons of life.
In my case, (as you know) I/we are in the “sandwich” generation. Still finishing raising adult (even married), children with so many struggles of their own that effect us daily. All the while maintaining care for aging parents. We still have three parents all in their 80’s, all live locally. My husband and I take a great amount of responsibility for their golden years and how we can help them through this time. Add to that the priority of God as #1 in our lives, while still trying to grow our 37 year marriage. With full time work, and both of us in ministries that take about 15 hours weekly, there is just no extra time in this season of our lives.
All this will pass. Our parents will slip into eternity with their Savior, and (eventually) our children will become full fledged adults. Self supporting, and someday raising their own families if God wills. But for this season, I always feel rushed and too busy. It is overwhelming for me personally to invest in more community than we already have.
Don’t misunderstand, I long for a time when life will settle down, and we can go at a slower pace, but the time is not now. For me community is a wonderful goal to continue to work towards. I love people, and in the next season of life, hope that God allows more flexibility to invest in community. Until then, I’m just going to trust Him and keep my eyes focused on Him no matter what curve ball is thrown my way. “Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” I have loved this song since I was in grade school, and it is still a comfort for me to remember and sing.
Keep writing Sister!
Thanks for sharing Sherry. You are indeed in a challenging season. I understand what you are saying here. I agree that we need to trust and obey Jesus every step of the way.
Love you~
Tweeny
Love you very much and always enjoy your insight! Keep writing dear friend!
Sherry
Tweens,again thanks for your honesty!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!! As you person HIM and HIS BEAUTIFUL CHURCH!!!!!!!!!! Love in JESUS,mary
Mary,
You are so sweet. I really appreciate your consistent support of me and my writing.
Love you sis~
Tweeny
Excellent viewpoint and suggestions, Tweeny. Yes, I agree. God made us to relate with Him and one another. How often do the parts of our physical body interact? How often do the spiritual parts of Christ’s body interact? We must interact to move forward.
Arlene,
Thank you for your encouragement. You are right, we must interact to move forward. Somehow it is not happening in America. I am just as much to blame as the next person. We need to start saying no to “things” and yes to “relationships.”
Blessings~
Tweeny
It may be true that as life gets more and more sophisicated we get more and more isolated. There were no fences between homes or only short ones but these days we see higher and higher fences, literally. I am glad I live in a neighborhood where we stop to talk to each other and share things. In our busyness, it is so refreshing to catch up with each other and do things with one another even though not very often. You are right on one thing. We need to be intentional or we will miss out so much in life and opportunities the Lord send our way.
Jessica,
You are blessed to have a neighborhood like that. I loved what you said about everyone having high fences these days. Yes, we need to be more intentional these days than ever before.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. I really appreciate it.
Love you lots~
Tweeny
Tweeny,
This was EXACTLY what I needed to read right now ! Your (His) timing is again perfect for me. I have been wanting to extend beyond my immediate space and have kept blaming it on being too busy. Yes we are all very busy for good reasons but we can always continue to work on improving our life BALANCE and it’s so easy to leave Community to last / very low focus. With the result being isolation / loneliness etc. I am praying that more of us can find ways to start taking steps (even baby steps) towards the actions you have called out above – it will do us ALL GOOD !
I was really encouraged today after reading this – thanks again my dear sister ! Love you !
Pinch
My dearest brother Pinch,
It blesses my heart so much that God would use my words to encourage you. You are right balance is the key to everything in life. You are also right that it is baby steps towards living the way God intended for us to live. So what is your next baby step going to be? Come out to have some coffee with your sister? That would be nice for both of us:)
Thanks for always loving and supporting me.
I love you ~
Tweeny
we shall be too happy if Pinchu and Happy visit their sister Tweeny and Willie for coffee and maybe more then coffee(Maybe icecream as she loves ice creams)…Phone me when you are together so that i can also have a sip of coffee together with you/…God bless you all with happiness in abundance