Do you struggle with being genuinely joyful? I often do.
I use to think that being joyful was something that was natural and should, therefore, just flow out of me. I was wrong. In order to live a joy-filled life, we have to live intentionally. The first step is to recognize and pinpoint what robs you of your peace. These are called “joy-busters.”
Although everyone’s joy-busters are different, there are a few that are common to many. Here are five that I allow to take my serenity away. Perhaps they are your joy-busters too.
1. Being Self-Focused
When I am thinking about myself all the time- what my issues are, my struggles, my pain, my emotions- I will never have joy.
It is impossible to be genuinely happy when we are self focused. We were created to love and serve others. The bible tells us that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). When we are giving all our attention to ourselves we are not able to see the needs of those around us.
We serve God by serving others.
Think of someone you can reach out to, and just listen to their problems. Make a conscious effort to not talk about yourself. Make sure to also spend some time in prayer with them.
2. Being Ungrateful
One of the best ways to find contentment is through an attitude of gratitude. The opposite is true in that when we grumble and complain we will find fault in everything, and therefore have no joy. (Philippians 2:14-16).
There is always something to be grateful for. We take so much for granted and therefore lose our gratitude. For example, when was the last time you thanked God for breathing? Or for your daily meals? Or for clean water?
Make a “Blessings” list. Write down at least twenty things in your life that you are grateful for.
3. Being Greedy
Being greedy goes hand-in-hand with being ungrateful. Being greedy is always wanting more, and being un-grateful is not appreciating what you do have.
There are a lot of things people are greedy about, but the biggest area of greed is the greed of money.
Money tends to be the most challenging area of most people’s lives. Think about it- people have murdered, cheated and lied for money. When we are greedy for money we can never be satisfied, and therefore can never have lasting joy.
1 Timothy 6:10 says that the “love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.“ It is a deception to believe that money will bring happiness or fulfillment. In fact, riches can be a trap because it creates desires within us to want more and more. These lusts can never satisfy.
Decide to give either your time or your money to a person, family, charity, or cause. Make sure to get out of your comfort zone.
4. Being a People Pleaser
I know in my own life living to gain the approval of others has always robbed me of my joy. The reason is because when I don’t receive the affirmation that I’m seeking for from another person, I lose my joy. (Colossians 3:23, Galatians 1:10)
Living to please people will always rob us of joy because people will always disappoint us.
When you find yourself seeking the approval of man, stop everything you are doing and get still with God- pray and journal. Ask yourself “If I were standing before God right now, what would He say to me?”
5. Being Controlled By Self Image
There was a time in my life when I would weigh myself almost every single day. What the scale told me would determine my mood. If I was within my desired weight I would be so happy, even elated. If, however, I had gained a pound or more I would become depressed.
I am so grateful that God has shown me that my true beauty comes from inside of me, in who I am as a woman, as HIs daughter. Today, I don’t allow the scale to dictate my beauty or my joy anymore.
Whatever it is about your appearance that you don’t like, I encourage you to surrender it to God. Don’t allow the world’s definition of beauty control your self image.
Read and memorize 1 Peter 3:3-5. Believe that you are a beautiful child of God.
These are only five joy busters. There are many more. The key is to be aware of your thoughts. In order to have a life of more joy, be aware of what you are thinking about.
Know what robs you of your joy, and then do something about it. Choose to make a change.
Most importantly, always ask God for His help and remember what He has said; “Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!“(Nehemiah 8:10). May we always remember that true lasting joy come from making Jesus number one in your life. Anything or anyone (idols) put before Him will always leave you empty.
I would love to hear what your joy busters are.
“You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence.” ~ Acts 2:28
