When people offend us, the most powerful thing we can do is to say nothing and pray for them. That’s what Jesus did.
Exactly how realistic is this to do, though? I mean, when someone has treated me unfairly, rudely, and/or disrespectfully, the last thing I want to do to is to pray for them and say nothing!
I don’t know about you, but I usually want to let the person know how much they have hurt me. It’s very challenging for me to stay quiet in a situation where I feel offended by someone. I usually want to get it resolved as soon as possible. Now, that’s not a bad thing to want, unless the other party is not willing to cooperate, in which case you can actually make things worse and end up doing more damage to yourself and/or to the situation.
We all have our individual stories of pain and rejection.
We all have felt hurt by another person’s actions at some point in our life.
So, what do we do when we feel wounded by another person’s behavior towards us?
We feel offended.
We feel sad, hurt, and angry.
Some of us isolate and shut down.
Others of us may verbalize our hurt by lashing out. I mean, after all, our very character is being attacked when someone treats us disrespectfully. It can feel almost impossible not to do something.
I can’t control other people. I can only control my own response to any given situation. I can control my feelings, my thoughts, and my actions.
Guarding my heart means not allowing the “poison” in when I feel wounded by someone else.
The poison I’m talking about is anger, bitterness, resentment, a critical spirit, gossipping about the person, and/or becoming judgmental.
Guarding my heart also means to be sure I don’t begin to isolate and /or feel depressed.
I have to make sure I don’t allow my self image to get bruised by blaming myself and thinking something is wrong with me.
There is a lot to be careful about when dealing with a hurt or offense.
Jesus knew all about being rejected and offended.
The same people that were praising Him one week were the same people that were cursing Him, spitting on Him and demanding for Him to be crucified the next week. We cannot even comprehend that depth of rejection (for more on this, read Isaiah 53:2-12).
But what did He do through His trial and until He hung on the cross?
He remained calm and asked God the Father to “forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). He prayed for his persecutors.
This is a great lesson for all of us.
When someone hurts us, even to the point of feeling like the pain is going to kill us, we can choose to stay calm, quiet, and do nothing except pray and talk to God about the whole situation.
Tell God how you are feeling and ask Him to help you. Ask Him to also help the person that has hurt you.
This is far more effective than anything else you could ever say or do.
Praying for your offenders is a healing balm on your own wounded heart, softening it and aiding in keeping the poison out.
Praying for someone that has hurt you is also a spiritual act of worship! It goes directly against our human nature, and God is glorified when we practice self-control, a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
The best part about folowing Jesus’ ways is that it sets us free and we can say with joy , “I am no longer a slave to the sorrow and pain of someone else’s attitude or behavior.”
The next time you are hurt, take Jesus’s approach and be still and pray for your offender. You will be amazed at how this response will turn your life around. It has mine. Why not try it and see for yourself.
“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” ~ Luke 6:27-28
Photo credit image 1: artem-kovalev-86365-girl-on-mountain-scaled.jpg
Well put honey. I also appreciate the supporting scriptures!
Thanks honey! I appreciate your love and support through this new venture. Love you:)
Way to go Sis! You have learned so much. It is with great joy that I read your wise words, and know you are sharing your heart with your readers! To God be the glory!
You are right on Sherry-all glory to God! I love you~
Tweeny, thank you for sharing your insight-fulness on yet another key subject that all of us have experienced and many/most of us struggle with addressing ! Even though I have read scriptures related to dealing with being hurt / disrespected, I still was missing some key points that you made above ~ such as “Ask Him to also help the person that has hurt you.” I know my future prayers will reap even greater results ! Thank you my dear sister !! Can’t wait for the next posting !!
Thank you for your words my dear brother. You have encouraged me so much through this journey and I am grateful to be able to encourage your walk too. I love you!
Thanks for this message of encouragent. This is exactly what a hurting world needs to hear. It reminds me of stephen the first Christian martyr when he prayed for those who were stoning him. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
Thanks Julie-thats right, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Love you sis:)
Dear Tweeny ,
What a powerful text; and words… It is not easy; we both know… to live a day at a time; forgiving; and trying to forget so much pain.
Love you my dear!!!
Dear Juliana, yes, one day at a time with Jesus is a good philosophy. We must constantly surrender to His Lordship-as you know. Also, as you know, He makes all things new. So beautiful to see His glory in your life. I love you too. Thanks for encouraging me on my writings. You and I have much to share:)
Your blog post is so true and yet so hard to do! But the Lord’s way is the higher way and the path to redemption. Thank you for reminding me of this! Love you, friend.
It IS hard to do in our own strength. That’s why we have to ask Jesus to help us. It is only by His grace, His strength that we can pray for our offenders. Glad to have been on this journey with you my dear sister. Love you too:) Thanks for your support!!
Yaaa amen Lord God for Your Spirit
Such a true message Mrs.Randall! Thank you so much for sharing <3
Wowowo wiwowow amen Tweeny thanks for spending time and sharing truth withs
Us amazing
Thank you for always encouraging me Brent! Thanks for reading my blog:)
Thanks Tweeny, for sharing godly wisdom in the area of “offense”. I spent too much time thinking people were “pushing my buttons” – and now am learning to be “buttonless” with God’s help. Your commentary is great encouragement and I pray others will continue to be drawn to His Truths in your blog. love you!
Thank YOU my sweet sister for always being such an anchor of support for me. I really like that term-“buttonless.” We can do very little without His help. I love you and I appreciate all your prayers for the Kingdom~
Hi dear…Just read Joyce Meyer and thought of you today/ She was preaching about “living without frustation”… I had a very hard day today; but also gave thanks to the Lord for He is in control of all things, including my “bad” days. God bless you…
Sweet sister Juliana, I just love your heart before the Lord. Even on a bad day you can praise Him! This is so beautiful. You are right, He is in control and He always wants the BEST for us. Keep leaning on Him like you are. I’m praying for you too. Love you. God bless you~
I’ve always felt it was best to care-front, but God has been teaching me in a recent situation to do as you’ve said here (back in 2012) ; Be quiet and pray for the person. Loved learning this would be an act of worship! Glad I happened upon this message after being blessed by your recent article in Self Control which also spoke to me. Thanks and God Bless Tweeny!
Thanks Debbie. God bless you!! 🙂